Us yore spiel checker, but us yore heed

Every word in this title is correctly spelled, but it’s not the correct word. When doing any important writing, it’s a good idea to have a dictionary and thesaurus (or an app) handy. A spell checker or grammar checker can’t tell what you’re trying to communicate. It can help with some errors, like the word beleive believe for instance, but it’s no substitute for knowing and using good English. You may think spelling doesn’t matter much, but poor spelling and poor sentence structure can change the meaning of what you’re trying to write or make it completely incomprehensible. It can also make you look like an idiot, which could be a career-limiting event.

Some spell checkers feature an “Auto-correct” and “auto-complete” system; these can be particularly dangerous to those who don’t proofread what they write. There are many stories of “patties” being “corrected” to “panties,” “dog” becoming “dad,” and “cranberry” becoming “crankshaft,” causing much embarrassment for all concerned.

The moral of the story? Always read what you wrote before printing/publishing/sending it. It may keep you from losing your job, or worse. You will avoid (most) glaring errors such as these:


Mr. Bush said he saw a need to “flush out” his basic campaign themes so they appeal to a wider audience.

Most gardeners limit their experience of growing beans in their backyard gardens to snap beans. In fact, snap beans are second in popularity only to the omniscient tomato.

To describe a church as an orgasm is bound to offend someone; yet …

I poured over the proof for typos, my wife poured over the proof, my friends poured over it. I was certain that my job hung in the balance. (It did. You’re fired,)

Reread your work to see if you any words out.

GOVERNOR’S PENIS BUSY (Should be “pen is.”)

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew

For even more empowering technology info, read my new book, “Deciphering the 21st Century,” Available now!

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